Guilt-Free Cherry Chip Cake and Shame

So, a couple weeks ago, I had a hankering for some sweets. I remembered reading about easy and guiltless cake recipes, so I decided to make a special trip to the grocery store to fill the void.

The recipe that follows was simple and delicious, as you will see. Just know that one box of cake mix has ten servings and that those ten servings of nutrition facts do not take into account any ingredients that you are going to add, and, just because you may use a can of soda water in lieu of the rest of the ingredients, it does not give you carte blanche to eat almost the entire thing. Oh, did I give myself away? Let me explain.

You see, I get these insatiable cravings for sweets that must be fulfilled. My voracious appetite for sweets led me to a fateful day a couple weeks ago where my hands moved before my brain could process exactly what they were doing. Five minutes and 7.5 servings of cake later, I was ridden with guilt, shame, and an appetite that was fulfilled until that shame and guilt went away (roughly 8 hours).

I will warn you, though, that making this cake may lead to said shame, guilt, and self-loathing for an indeterminable amount of time. Results may vary. In this instance, there were no forks used, no dishes soiled, just hands and an appetite that would rival that of a zombie during the apocalypse. To that, I give you my recipe for disaster and delicious:

Guilt-Free (Until you eat all of it) Cake

1 box of any frigging cake mix you choose (in this instance, Cherry Chip Catastrophe was used)*
1 can of any soda of your choice (I used HEB lemon soda water with zero sodium and zero artificial sweeteners)

So, preheat your oven to 350*. Empty out the box of cake mix like you’re trying to put out a fire. Next, add the can of soda to your cake mix. Blow the dust off your hand mixer and start mixing away. You’ll do this for about two minutes, or until everything is combined.

Coat a cake pan or two with cooking spray (I used an 8X8 glass baking dish)

Pour your delicious mix into the dish, but not before tasting it because it’s good and that’s what you do when you bake.

Bake that thing for upwards of 35-40 minutes.

Remove from the oven once finished and, unlike me, wait for it to cool before gorging. Cut a piece out for your loved one and then eat the rest out of the dish. Enjoy.

*Cherry Chip Catastrophe is not an actual flavor, but a play on the guilt that followed.


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